They do conk me out, these pills designed for dreams and clouds.
I came up with my best joke one night under this influence – Exspearmint. If knights, with spears, galloped into a mint bush, when it came out it would be an exspearment! It’d be an experiment to see if they fought better or won! What happened?
I’m going to write until I have to put my head onto bed. I can see.
My hair is in my face. I flicked it back and wow the room is so much brighter now….now. Yes. I’m going to keep writing as if I was talking to my screensaver there’s a person right there I can talk to. Alone time. To talk to someone. The paradox of life. I want to speak to certain people in person right now. It’s funny they’re not there and I’m here but otherwise of course I expect those people in person, I’d hardly want to speak to someone not in person. Along those lines, anyway. But what if that’s what we’re doing every day? When we phone, text, email, we’re not ‘in person’. We need robots to communicate with each other. Because they can improve our own communication. As if we can’t just get together and hang. As if there is something more to it than our own minds we must rely on.
A green line under a sentence – does it symbolise MS Word asking me to explain that sentence? Or just to ‘correct’ it. Into a more grammatical form. But if grammatical form makes a sentence clearer then correcting it into a more grammatical form WILL give it more meaning. So the green grammar corrective ingrained into MS Word feels like, to the receiver, some AI. Despite it being just the Chinese room.
I would love to write under influences of other things. In fact, wow. I think I’ve got an idea – to take anything, tea, coffee, this food, that food, after a run, before a workout, writing on my head … and see. See if there’s a difference or see whether this bodily possibility breaks through the mind’s imagination. For only a lack of imagination holds me back. The environment itself inspires. I work lonely alone in my room and I kinda don’t like my career so far because of that, because I miss the social butterfly era I used to have, but it’s unfair to judge it on that. I should be a social butterfly regardless and that’s exactly where the right opportunities come from.
Or take different consumptions and stimulus. A clear piece of paper with no preconceptions or ideas, a writer’s block moment perhaps, and save it till I have enough to conk me out and conk out an experimental phase. To amaze.