TEACHERS. SLAMMED. The Tabloid’s exclusive…

 

 THE

TABLOID!

Who gets the impersonation?

A leek delivers A BLISTERING VERDICT on the FAILURE of teachers. Only in:

THE

TABLOID*

 

In 1997, in a bid to  dupe the public, Labour’s slogan was “education, education, education”.

But SHAMED teachers today face UNDENIABLE PROOF of their incompetence, and the incompetence of politicians.

Top Tabloid reporters show DAMNING EVIDENCE of teachers REFUSING TO GIVE STUDENTS ANSWERS to exams, making them “think for themselves”. And the advice that “you can disagree with an opinion you read, but you must construct a reasonable argument against it” defies all logic.

They are becoming INFECTED with POISONOUS notions. Academia has now a cover-up for a cess-pit of tolerance and respect for ALL views, even if they are potentially COMMUNIST or TERRORIST or DANGEROUS SCUM.

Students are caught in a hellish cycle of anachronistic assignments, all the more torturous for being told to practise handwriting for no practical reason whatsoever. And they become addicted to coffee, or sugary drinks, and waste their night away… STUDYING. Even worse, they develop a BURNING THIRST for knowledge.

Under Labour, millions of hard-earned taxpayer’s money is being poured into “education” under the name of “investment” – a salt in the wound for taxpayers.

Schools are meant to GIVE students an education, not make the poor children DO THE WORK. What are we all-too-hard-working taxpayers paying teachers for?

Universities, the worst of the lot, are churning out graduates who deliver clear, balanced and well-referenced reports, discussions and arguments on tap.

What a damning indictment of Labour.

Our undercover reporters have found SHOCKING SCENES of teachers deliberately giving MORE THAN ONE opinion, in subjects like ENGLISH literature, Philosophy, Politics and History. And when students attempt to hand in some half-arsed attempt at a draft, teachers QUESTION them, driving students into a spiralling agony of self-doubt and more wasted time considering.

Gone are the idyllic days when I could go to school and not be DISCRIMINATED AGAINST for how well I read or wrote.

Who can we trust loyally now?

Not Labour, we can be certain.

The law that makes education compulsory between the impressionable ages of 5 and 16 SHOULD BE A CRIME. Labour is CRIMINAL.

No wonder the economy has gone to rack and ruin. We have people unable to do jobs without putting thought into what they do. Or write.

This is not how capitalism works.

The Tabloid seem to be the ONLY challenge to this MOCKERY of a system.

But it should not be this way.

We should leave our children at school safe in the certainty that teachers will teach them how to cope in THE REAL WORLD – to consume before thinking, to read without question, to rise the hackles of the public for THE GOOD of the country.

Slammed

Instead, the invaluable technique of writing balls opinion in the cheapest, most accessible and most read national newspaper in the U.K. simply FAILS TO BE TAUGHT.

Instead, Universities are churning out a generation who irresponsibly think, reason and appreciate things.

This COULD NOT BE FURTHER from reality. Reality that is still defined, thankfully, by The Tabloid.

And IT GETS WORSE.

Top brass have made this a CONDITION for entrance into Universities.

This is BLACKMAIL. A GENOCIDE of crazy opinions and sizzling sensationalism – the very pillars of this society. If this does not stop, The Tabloid will end up completely changing its’ much-loved content. And educated MONSTERS will settle in to the top positions that we have fought so hard against.

This has got to stop.

Stop the genocide. Kill all the brain cells that are starting to question and doubt what you are reading right now.

And keep buying and reading The Tabloid. Yes, of course you can afford it – talk of the recession only applies when we say that a certain political party caused a certain global banking disaster. Yes, of course he caused it. I mean the party. Or him. Well, someone caused it, let’s pick him.

As for your own wallet, you want to spend it on us. Obviously. 

And, this is only A Leek, an amateur. Read some REAL articles, here:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/2866157/Education-under-Labour-day-2-Trevor-Kavanaghs-blistering-verdict.html

http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/Private-school-forced-to-shut.6046571.jp?CommentPage=7&CommentPageLength=10

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-world/2010/03/22/gordon-brown-david-cameron-and-nick-clegg-to-have-their-own-general-election-biscuits-115875-22131666/

*Do not take this seriously. I accept absolutely no responsibility for an reader’s visceral and non-rational agreement with everything contained in this article.

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2 thoughts on “TEACHERS. SLAMMED. The Tabloid’s exclusive…

  1. I love the drawing at the top, did you create it? A Leek on top of a ball and chain, brilliant! Another great article, you keep getting better and better. I haven’t read a tabloid for quite a while so thank you for reminding me why I don’t, what a lot of SHOUTING they do! I like your new direction with the satire, looking forward to more. :-)

  2. I don’t quite get the drawing at the top, but brilliant article. A searing indictment of the corrupt and illegal system of government. Which steals from us and redistributes the wealth to communists and sodomites. We should have government illegalised and just let freedom ring.

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